no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
