After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
