I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
