Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
