I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
