It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
