3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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