I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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