Duck Duck Cougar?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
