Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
id be glad to
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
