I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
