A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The beer is more important than you right now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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