I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
