We're like a lot better than the average bears
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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