You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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