there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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