help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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