I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
