Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
