"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
