Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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