It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
