she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
