Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
