That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
