i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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