Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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