Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize