If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
