another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
