At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
