he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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