She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
