In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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