He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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