When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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