it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
