Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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