I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
