I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
