sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
