I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
A bitchslap is in order.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
