If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
