If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize