my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
