I can tuck mytits in my pants
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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