No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
