i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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