brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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