i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
