You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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