As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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