So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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