she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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