dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
