Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
