Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
