I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize