Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize