Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize