this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
