I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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