First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
