On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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