Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
